I have seen 40 year old men act like children and 14 year old children act like adults. Being an adult has NOTHING to do with age.
A child is FORCED responsibility, an adult TAKES responsibility. The secret to success throughout the teenage years, or life for that matter, is for you as parents to remain TEACHABLE and HUMBLE.
A humble mom/dad is someone who desires TRUTH more than they desire to BE RIGHT.
If you remain humble and teachable with your kids in the teen years, you will go from SURVIVING the teen years to THRIVING in the teen years.
When our middle son was 12, we each signed an agreement that we were going to be people of TRUTH.
I WANT TRUTH - Naomi
I WANT TRUTH - Tim
I WANT TRUTH - TJ
Being an adult means that the NUMBER ONE area that you take responsibility for is in the area of your ACTIONS and ATTITUDES. That means that you do not blame others for your bad attitude, you do not make excuses for your bad attitude and you do not deny that you had a bad attitude.
I want to park it right here because this might very well be the most important thing I ever say in my blog - ever.
THIS BLOG IS BIGGER THAN BLOGS ONE – THREE COMBINED.
WHEN YOU BLAME A BAD ATTITUDE ON ANYONE ELSE…YOU ARE A CHILD.
BAD ATTITUDE = TONE OF VOICE and Body Language.
THE DAY YOU BECOME AN ADULT IS THE DAY YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE BEFORE GOD FOR YOUR ATTITUDE AND THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR A BAD ATTITUDE. If you are an adult, you finish the sentence with, "The reason I’m grumpy is because I have a bad attitude, and I need someone to punish me, because I am serious about wanting to change my childish behavior."
In week 7 of my "Daughter of the King" class, I teach the girls "The Rewards of Obedience" and I teach them the acronym B.E.D. (Blame, Excuse, Deny). If you make your BED you will lie in it. If you BLAME others for your bad attitude you are a CHILD. If you make EXCUSES for your bad attitude you are a CHILD. If you DENY that you have a bad attitude you are a CHILD. If you take responsibility for your bad attitude and accept your punishment, that will help you change your anger issues. Then you are acting like an adult and you are humble. AKA: Someone who wants truth more than you want to be right.
This is a concept I worked very hard at instilling into my kids when they were between the ages of 8 - 12. During this season of their lives they are very motivated to grow up. I think it's important that we are specific so our children know what it means to "grow up". Tomorrow I will talk about some specific goals to help your kids know what they are trying to reach.
From 12 – 17 is when we as parents get to drink the fruit of our own attitudes. Up to 12 years old we are pouring our attitudes into the cups of our children. At 12 – 17 they tell you to drink that cup. If you are apathetic your teenager will be apathetic. If you have a temper your teenager will have a temper.
Paul listed 15 adult attitudes in I Corinthians 13. These "Fruits of the Spirit" are: Love, Joy, Peace, Gentleness, Patience, Kindness, Does not envy, is not proud, is not RUDE, IS NOT SELF SEEKING, IS NOT EASILY ANGERED, KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, NEVER DELIGHTS IN EVIL, ALWAYS HOPES AND ALWAYS PERSEVERES. THIS IS ADULTHOOD!
The teenage years are a second chance for Mom and Dad to grow up!! Yay!! I think God smiles at this opportunity.
Cheering you on.