Abstinence

Why is sex outside of marriage wrong?

There are Two Answers: 

1. It is demanding the REWARDS of the covenant without the Commitment of the Covenant.

Any time two people have sex outside of marriage they have abused each other.  Satan loves to mock.  One of the ways he mocks is to twist things.  He mocks every time someone has sex outside of marriage by calling it making love”.  Love has nothing to do with it.  Love is giving. Sex outside of marriage is pure, 100% selfishness. When you violate a person, you do the opposite of love.   People who have sex outside of marriage, on a 0 – 100 scale never get above a 25 in pleasure.  It’s all about self-esteem.  It is when a person says, “I am a prince of the King of Kings and I am a bless-er.  To be in a dating relationship with me is a high privilege and if you would shred my soul, go away."  Paul says, “Live a life of love.”, which is the opposite of sexual immorality.  Paul says, “Must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.”  The minute you have introduced the concept that sex is “take what I can when I can”, you loose a cancer in the relationship. It may not kill the relationship although it kills most.  The most disrespectful thing one person can do to another person is sex outside of marriage.  It has been my experience as a youth deacon that most relationships break up 4 - 6 weeks after a couple has sex.  The reason being is that respect is the most important thing to a man, and once a man has been able to disrespect a woman, to that degree he can no longer be in relationship with her.  Even if the relationship survives into marriage, the fact that you survived cancer doesn’t mean that cancer is a good thing.  Asking how far is too far is like asking, “How much arsenic do you want in your food?”

The first 10 chapters of Proverbs are devoted exclusively to how to avoid sexual immorality.

When a man in a dating relationship understands that he has a 0% chance of anything inappropriate going on, he is able to focus his full attention on getting to know and understand the woman he loves.  If a man cannot be trusted sexually he cannot be trusted in other areas as well.

2. It kills your ability to trust. Herein lies the dynamic of trust in a relationship - when you took something that was not yours, you said, “I will violate you."

Good Physical Boundaries.

It is so easy to stay sexually pure.  It's not hard because your eyes have been opened.  You see that for a little selfish abuse you throw away a lifetime of pleasure.  Boundaries are easy for a healthy soul.

1. Talk about your boundaries before your first date
2. Never be alone in a private place.  That includes parked cars!

My Notes From My Sermon on Purity

THE HIGH CALL OF

PURITY

Ephesians 5: 3-16

But among you there MUST NOT be even a HINT of sexual immorality or of ANY kind of impurity… because these are IMPROPER for God’s holy people. Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, WHICH IS OUT OF PLACE. But rather thanksgiving. For of this you can BE SURE: No immoral, impure or greedy person has ANY inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.  LET NO ONE DECEIVE YOU with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.  Therefore DO NOT be partners with them.  (Don’t date them.)

Live as children of the LIGHT. For the fruit of the light consist of goodness, righteousness and truth.)

(THERE IS A CALLING ON YOU FOR PURPOSE, JOY AND LIGHT.)

Have NOTHING to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather EXPOSE THEM.  (You know of some guy who is going to use girls.  God’s word gives you permission to EXPOSE THEM. )

FOR IT IS SHAMEFUL TO EVEN MENTION WHAT THE DISOBEDIENT DO IN SECRET.

Be VERY CAREFUL then, how you live - not as unwise (brute beasts) but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Strategies for reaching your goal of purity

In order to reach a goal you must devise a strategy.  I am a runner and three years ago I set the goal of running Red Top Mountain (a 5.5-mile course) in under 50 minutes.  If I set that goal then proceeded to sit on the couch and eat popcorn, what do you think the chance would be for me to reach my goal?  I would never reach my goal.  What do you have to do to reach a goal?  You have to devise a strategy, which is smaller pieces that will enable you to get to the bigger goal.  When I set the goal of running Red Top in 50 minutes I was still just walking Red Top Mountain.  Then I started running just the down hills, then I ran the flats, then eventually I was able to run the up hills.  The next step was to improve on the whole course until my speed was up to where I needed it to be to reach my goal. 

Staying Pure is much like running Red Top.  If your goal is to remain pure then you need a strategy or smaller pieces that will enable you to reach that goal.  Here is a strategy that I gave to my own children to help them reach their goal of Purity.  

Important note:

This strategy is ONLY to be implemented once you are established enough to actually be looking for a mate.  Meaning you have graduated from high school and or college.  You are physically able to support a wife, established in a career. 

Stages of Intimacy:  In order for something to be bonded together it takes TIME for the “setting” of a relationship.  The glue that holds a relationship together is communication.  As soon as the physical aspect enters the relationship the communication level will go down greatly.  It’s easy to become physical; it takes more thought and energy to focus on communication.  

1. Eye to Body: The first time you notice someone.
2. Eye-to-Eye: The first time you look directly at each other.  This is when you are checking each other out and exchanging flirtatious smiles.
3. Voice-to-Voice:  The first conversation between the romantic partners.  This is where a relationship should stay until you have reached your primary goals that I have listed in the above paragraph. (Only talk for six Months)
4. Hand to hand: This can be a very exciting stage. It indicates that the relationship is progressing. (After you have completed the six months of talking you can hold hands for the next six months.  Now your relationship has reached the one-year anniversary.)
5. Hand to Shoulder: This stage reflects sort of a buddy type of relationship.  (After a year you move to six months of hand to shoulder.  Now you are a year and a half into the relationship and still there has been no kiss. If you find after this period of time that this person is not the person God has chosen for you, you can walk away with your soul intact.)
6. Hand to Waist: This position is clearly romantic.  Casual friends DO NOT stand like that. (Okay, you decide to move forward with the relationship.  You are a year and a half into the relationship and you move to hand to waist. ( Two year anniversary at the completion of this stage.)
7. Hand to Head: This stage is clearly a reflection of sexual desire and romantic desire.  If a couple has not rushed through the other stages.  (For the next six month time period.  Now upon the completion of this stage you have completed two and a half years.)  
8. Kissing: Friendly peck on the cheek. French kissing should be reserved for the wedding day when the pastor says, "You may kiss the bride."  Touching a person’s hair, nuzzling face to face. (By now you have pretty much decided that this is God’s chosen mate for you.  After three years of dating you get your first kiss.)

Note: You can change the time frame from six month intervals to three month intervals depending on the age of the person who is dating.    But I do think you can date for a year and know whether or not you want to get married, if you are out of high school and established in your career. 

Benefits of implementing this plan in your life:

1. You’ll notice that by using this plan you are three years into the relationship before the first kiss.  After that long you probably will know whether this is the person God has chosen for you. 
2. You are able to get out of the relationship with your soul still in tact.
3. Chances are if you make your strategy clear to those who approach you, you will most likely attract those that share your common goal of wanting to remain pure before marriage.
4. You eliminate those that want to use you and just have “fun” with your heart.  If that person knows from the start of the relationship that these are your standards and he/she is just in it for the fun, they will look elsewhere. 

Pitfalls of this strategy

1. Be prepared to defend your stance.  Don’t think that just because you set this standard that everyone will automatically accept it.  Expect your standards to be challenged.  Men are wired to like a challenge.  So if you say no holding hands until a year has passed, then three months into the relationship he holds your hand, you must be prepared with a plan to reinforce your strategy when your standards are violated.  Forgiveness is automatic, but trust has to be re-earned.  If the guy respects you and your standards he will gladly comply with your wishes.  So what do you do when your standards are violated?  Agree ahead of time. I encourage you to establish that same standard in your dating relationship BEFORE the incident occurs.  Tell the other person, "If you violate my standard ALL COMMUNICATION will be cut off for one month."

I realize that these are very high goals and only the top-notch teens will be able to reach them. 

I did reach my goal of running Red Top under 50 minutes.  But what did I accomplish?  Yes, I reached my goal, but that was about all. 

If you decide to adapt this plan and use this strategy as your own, the reward will be phenomenal.  Your reward will be a lifetime of intimacy with your spouse. 

PART 2

Revealing Satan's strategies to get you to throw away your innocence! 

One of the main tools Satan uses to cause teens to stumble is movies.  The message in the movies is THROW AWAY YOUR INNOCENCE.  Hollywood wants you to believe that innocence is worthless, but the opposite is true. What is it that makes something valuable? Why is the diamond ring on my hand so valuable?  The reason a diamond is valuable is because it is rare.  It is very rare to find someone who has guarded their innocence these days, which makes that person very valuable.  In God’s economy your innocence is priceless.  Do not allow your mind to be exposed to what people in the world do.  The Bible challenges us not to even talk about what the heathen do in secret (Ephesians 5:12). Yet you are willing to expose yourself to watch what the heathen do on the big screen, bigger than life at the theater.  One of the main reasons I am a very light-hearted, care-free, JOY filled person is due to the fact that I have been very vigilant about guarding my innocence.  I will not allow this world system to steal my innocence from me.  They will not drag my mind through the mud.  Tim has always said to me, “You are so naive.”  I view that as a compliment.  You don’t have to put your hand in the fire to know that you will get burned.  I believe the Bible when it says, “Can a man scoop fire into his lap and not get burned?”  Obviously not.  

Satan’s second strategy:

                                        Pornography: “YOU HAVE A CHOICE!”

"Slave to Depravity" OR "A Destiny with Dignity"

The sin of pornography will steal your innocence faster than anything else.  It robs you of your dignity and degrades you to the point of a dog in heat.  Pornography sears your brain like a brand.  Because God created us as sexual beings our brains don’t function the same in the area of pornography. Because you can’t erase a sear on your brain.  Because once something is seared it is permanent.  With each exposure to a pornographic image, your brain has less innocence and less capacity for the ability to dream and imagine; or wonder, or the freedom to read a good story and enjoy the beauty of the story; or the ability to look at someone of the opposite sex without thinking lustful thoughts. Sin always entraps. Sin always leads to bondage.

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go. Sin will keep you longer than you want to stay. Sin will cost you much more than you want to pay.”

This passage describes someone who is in bondage to pornography: 

2 Peter 2: 10-19: This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature and despise authority.  They are bold and arrogant men…

Verse 12: "But these men blaspheme in things they don’t understand.  THEY ARE LIKE BRUTE BEASTS (In every sexual abuse you will ALWAYS find pornography), creatures of instinct, (reduced to that of a dog in heat) born only to be caught and destroyed, and like beasts they too will perish." 

Verse 13:  "They will be paid back WITH HARM for what they have done.  Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight.  They are blots and blemishes, revelling in their pleasures while they feast with you. With eyes full of adultery they will never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed-an accused brood!  They have left the straight way and wandered off to follow the way of Balaam, who love the WAGES OF WICKEDNESS (what is the wages of wickedness?) He was rebuked for his wrongdoing…and restrained the prophet’s madness."  (Madness is a thought-life that is out of control.  It is obsessive thinking.) 

Verse 17:  "These men are springs without water and mists driven by a storm.  BLACKEST DARKNESS is reserved for them."
Verse 18:  "For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error."

Verse 19:  THEY PROMISE FREEDOM, WHILE THEY THEMSELVES ARE SLAVES OF DEPRAVITY- FOR A MAN IS A SLAVE TO WHATEVER HAS MASTERED HIM."  (Has anyone ever told you, "Pornography is fun, you should try it?"  Or worse yet, "Here, let me show you how you can access this on your computer?)  They promise freedom, yet they are slaves. 

YOU HAVE A CHOICE: 

"Slave to Depravity" OR "A Destiny with Dignity" 

If you choose to live for sexual pleasure then you will become a brute beast; you will become an animal.  They are equivalent to a dog in heat. If you play with sexual pleasures THEY WILL OWN YOU!!  Sin starts with a little bit of effort and great reward, but once you let that monster into your life the THIRST GROWS!!!  The more you thirst for it THE SMALLER THE REWARD until you become a burned out stub of a candlewick.

FREEDOM

 Freedom has its price tag.  Just as soldiers have laid down there life so that we in America can live in freedom, you to will have to fight with vengeance in order to keep your mind free from the sin of pornography.  Do you have what it takes to swim upstream?  How tough are you really?  What is your strength of Character?  Character is doing the right thing when only God is watching, when you could “get away” with doing the wrong thing, but you still choose to do the right thing.  That determines your strength of character. 

Part 2: An Object Lesson on Pornography That Your Kids Will NEVER Forget

We are wired to remember object lessons.  It's basically all Jesus used when he preached.  Many of the parables in the Bible are object lessons. So when I was asked to speak on pornography in our youth service at church, I used an object lesson to help the kids remember the point I was making.  I preached that sermon nearly six years ago and I still will have teens who are now in their 20's tell me that of all the sermons they heard, the one that I preached on pornography they never forgot. 

What I did is: I went to the local wig store and bought a styrofoam head that they use to display the wigs on.  Then I got a branding iron. I wanted one with a "P" on it, but couldn't find it, so I settled for one with a "V" on it.  As I spoke I had the lights set low.  The kids did not know it, but while I was speaking I had a guy with a grill heating up the branding iron.  He kept it in the coals until is was glowing red hot.  When I signaled for him to come in, he came into the youth building carrying the glowing red hot "V" branding iron.  I held up the branding iron in one hand and said, "This is pornography." I then held up the styrofoam head in the other hand, "This is your brain." Then I brought the two of them together and said, "This is your brain on pornography."  When the branding iron came in contact with the styrofoam it smoked and put off a terrible smell.  I also used the smell as an object lesson, telling them about how we as Christians carry with us the aroma of God, but pornography carries with it the hideous smell of death. 

Then I explained to them that pornography sears your brain like a brand. When you look at pornographic images those images are seared on your brain forever.  Because God created us as sexual beings our brains don’t function the same in the area of pornography. Why is it that when you study for a test, after you take that test two days later you can't remember what you studied, but with pornography, images that you have seen years ago you can still pull up in your brain?  It's because pornography sears your brain and you can’t erase a sear on your brain, because once something is seared it is permanent.

I would like to challenge you parents with kids in the house ages 11 - 19 to do this object lesson with them.  It just might be the most important lesson that you can ever teach them.  Perhaps it will save them from years of misery, guilt, shame and remorse.  Our kids are being inundated with adult content at younger and younger ages. If they are going to not just survive but thrive, we must TRAIN them up. Training takes TIME and INTENTIONALITY.  


With this generation of teenagers you can't say: "JUST SAY NO!" It does NOT work.  What this generation of teenagers want to know is WHY should I say "NO"?  They want to know what's in it for me.  How will saying "NO" benefit me? And I think they are right.  It shows respect (which is the number one thing that teenagers crave) when you take the time to explain to them WHY they should say no, and how saying no benefits them.  But you can't be a passive parent and be equipped with the answers your teenagers need.  You have to stay up on what's happening in their world in order to know how to to relate to them.  The way I did that was by serving as a youth deacon at my church for the past 14 years, as well as educating myself by listening to podcasts like "Boundless" (target audience 18 - 30),  as well as Focus on the Family podcasts that deal with teen issues that are relevant to this generation. 

For all you country music lovers out there, I would like to recommend a new CD by Guy Penrod, called "Breathe Deep". Song 1 is about marriage.  Song 2 reminds us to "Pray about Everything". Song 3 "Young Enough to Know Better" is about abstinence.  At first I just downloaded one song. After previewing several of the songs I bought the CD.  I love it!

I highly recommend it. It's a great reminder to be intentional about our parenting goals and strategies. 

Being a mom is the most important thing I have ever done,

Naomi

Pornography & Teens

I have been working with teens for the past 14 years.  When I began working with teens the Internet was not around so I rarely had to deal with the issue of pornography.  Today however, that is not the case.  Just last week I was confronted with the issue of pornography on four different occasions.  Three came from teens and one came from a parent.  There seems to be somewhat of a disconnect between the Baby Boomers (1945 – 1960), the Generation X-ers (1961-1981) and the Millenniums (1982 - current day).  The parents of the Millenniums have a hard time comprehending how their teenager could be addicted to pornography, because back when the Baby Boomers were growing up only truck drivers or perverts viewed such vial images.  However, the Millenniums don't know anyone older than 12 who has not seen pornography. 

I know that several of you have toddlers and it makes you sick to your stomach to even think about pornography stealing away the innocence of your son/daughter, but unfortunately that is the reality of the world we live in.

As a youth leader I have seen two extreme reactions from parents when they find their teenager has been viewing pornography: 

1.  Is to freak out.  This is not good, and it does nothing to help your teen move away from his/her addictive behavior.

2. Treat it as if it's "no big deal". After a teenager confided in me that he was struggling with pornography I encouraged him to tell his dad about his battle.  I was proud of this young man having the courage to come clean to his Dad.  He asked his father if he would put filters on his computer so that he would not be tempted.  His Dad's response was: "Look son, this is something you are going to have to deal with your whole life, it's time for you to man up and just be strong enough to resist the temptation." 

This too is a wrong reaction.  It's vital that as parents we provide solid answers and solutions to the issues our kids are faced with. (Note: These will be covered in tomorrow's blog.)

Remember yesterday's blog: "Lead me not into temptation." If you have a computer in your house and you don't have a GOOD filter on it, you are a fool.  YOU ARE LEADING YOUR CHILDREN INTO TEMPTATION. 

When a kid comes to me and tells me that they are addicted to pornography, the first thing I do is ask them if they would please forgive my generation for making it so hard on them to grow up.  A lot of the pain this generation is suffering is due to the Boomers not speaking up and fighting for a moral society. 

The second thing I do is explain to them WHY THEY MUST BEAT THIS DEMON.  The demon of lust is the meanest and baddest demon of them all.  You can say that you don't believe in demons, however, whether or not you believe something or don't believe something has nothing to do with what is truth.

  According to the Bible there are only four ways to open yourself up to demonic activity:

1.  Exposing yourself to the Occult (witchcraft, palm reading, Harry Potter is occult activity)

2. Sexual Immorality (pornography, sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, sexual immorality)

3. Drugs and Alcohol (drunkenness, getting high)

4. Gossip and Slander 

The Bible says: "Resist the devil and he will flee from you." It will take every bit of fight they have in them to win this battle but it's OH SO WORTH THE EFFORT.

The third thing that I say to that teenager is (I look them straight in the eyes and say):


"You are not abnormal.  Every male at some point in his life will have to stare down the demon of pornography."


I have spoken on this issue before and I will post my notes from that sermon tomorrow, but I feel as if this blog is getting rather lengthy.  So I guess you can consider this the introduction to my series on pornography. 

Goodness = Innocence

“Man, that was awesome!” Ethan said.  Joel laughed, “Yeah, my favorite part was when he finally got the girl in bed.  Dude, she was hot! “Yeah, but I think I liked it better when the villain was killed. Did you see the way they made him convulse as he was knifed?”

The two friends were walking out of a movie and the general consensus between them was that it was “a really good movie.” Often today, the two things most applauded, especially in movies, are sex and violence. A few of the words that God uses in scripture to describe these two things are:  sexual immorality, lust, impurity, anger, rage, malice, and slander.

We are told that one of the fruits of the spirit in the Bible is goodness. Many people think that to have goodness, one must simply be good. However, if you look at the Greek meaning of the word you would find that goodness means “innocence”.  A good summation for someone who has lost their innocence is boredom, hyper-stimulation of the emotions, and lack of imagination.  Nothing is interesting or fascinating anymore.  Consider this Biblical definition of innocence:  to not even consider the possibility of participating in evil.  God wants us to walk in His wisdom, “ . . . I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil” (Romans 16:19).  If you allow pettiness, hypersensitivity, criticism, or anger in your life, it will eat away at you until there is no room left for laughter, and no insight, imagination or passion left about life.  Ask God to make you innocent again.

Of the 3 goals that I had for my children as they were growing up, guarding your innocence was  the biggest challenge to teach them.  They have the knowledge and tools to be good at:

1. Conflict Resolution

They all understand the:

2. Power of the tongue and the importance of floating their tongue in the river of life not death and to use their words for speaking blessings and not curses over their lives.

But guarding their innocence possessed much more of a challenge. I think loss of innocence can be compared to the frog in the boiling water.  Gradually the heat on the stove is turned up until the happy frog swimming around in the warm water is cooked.  This generation of young people does not know how to blush.  They are so desensitized, innocence is something they can barely recognize.   If you are going to operate in the fruit of the Spirit of goodness and innocence you are going to have to be intentional about it.  One of the ways that I'm intentional about that is by owning a ClearPlay DVD player. It will edit sex, violence and language out of the movies.  Check it out:  http://www.clearplay.com/

Media is not the only challenge to guarding your innocence, but it's probably the biggest.  Another issue is who you hang out with.  Friends who are vulgar or constantly causing your mind to go to things that are not wholesome and innocent can also deter you from reaching your goals of guarding your innocence. 

Pornography is another big issue that is destroying our young people by the millions everyday.  If you don't have a filter on your teenagers computer you are a fool.  The Bible says: "Lead me not into temptation." If you give your teenagers access to a computer and then do not provide any accountability for them, its like you are leading them directly into temptation. Deliver them from evil by letting them know that they will be held accountable for every computer sight they go to.  We have used eBlaster http://www.spectorsoft.com/products/eBlaster_Windows/entry.asp?refer=12290 for years. 

I will blog on the issue of pornography in the coming days.  This is something that I have spoken on in youth before, and it is destroying so many homes and young people.

Cheering you on,
Naomi

Kindness

Kindness

The root meaning of kindness in the Greek language comes from two words:  useful and profitable.  Kindness is not just being “sweet”.  Kindness is a sweetness that produces change.  If you are kind to someone then it means you bear profit in someone’s life or are useful in someone’s life.  Kindness has power because kindness changes lives.  Kindness is not just giving, but giving in the area that they have the greatest need.  Kindness is sweetness with perceptivity.  Four greatest acts of kindness that one person can ever impart to another person are: 

(1)                           Safety. The need for safety is one of the greatest needs in anyone’s soul.  To make someone feel safe means you will live by the standard that says, “I will NEVER have the right to attack, criticize or be harsh towards anyone.”  The Greek definition says that kindness is the exact opposite of harshness.

(2)                           Praise.  Pour into people; make them alive. “ Therefore encourage one another and build up one another” (I Thessalonians 5:11). Praise is useless however, if people don’t feel safe.

(3)                           Offer to help.  An offer to help is from a servant’s heart and the goal is to win their heart, give them your heart and have the love of God flowing through you.

(4)                           An honest response.  Kindness goes beyond being “nice” – telling people what they want to hear.  It means being bold enough to speak truth and stand firm in the principles you believe in.  

Are you a kind person?  Are you useful in other people’s lives?  Do you bring great profit to others?  Do people feel safe around you?  Do you praise?  Do you serve? Are you honest?  Where is the only place that you can get filled with kindness?  “But the fruit of the spirit is . . . KINDNESS” (Gal. 5:22). 

Many times nice people are not kind people.  Nice people are often unhealthy souls that never want to offend anyone, and they never bring change that is profitable.  The most evil thing that one person could ever do to another person is to give them a false security of salvation and nice people do that all that time because they do not want to offend anyone with the gospel.  Absolute truth is offensive. 

Series: "Fruits of the Spirit"

A few years ago, my daughter Amanda and I were asked to write some articles for "The Real Bible".

http://www.amazon.com/Real-Complete-New-Testament-Biblezines/dp/0718010663/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1285351420&sr=8-1

Here is one of those articles:

Love

“You would if you really loved me.” a girl’s boyfriend whispers in her ear.  An enraged teenager screams at her mother, “You don’t really love me!” A pastor is ending a sermon,  “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.”  But, what is love?  Yes, God is love, but what is a good definition for love?  If love is what the world says, then it is often synonymous with sex, or a worldly phrase that says, “You owe me.” 

If we take a deep look at what God’s love is, we realize that God’s love is not only different than the world’s love, but it is different than what we usually think it is. A Biblical definition of God’s love says that love is an offer to give from a secure heart.  Insecurity minimizes your ability to receive God’s love and God’s love minimizes your ability to be insecure.

God’s love is a gift. No gift can be demanded or manipulated. It may be asked for and granted, but never manipulated or demanded.  The world however, feeds off insecurity by manipulating love by saying, “I’m hurting so you need to give to me.”  If you give in to this manipulation, you will walk in insecurity; you will not have God’s love to pour out on anyone else. 

A gift is offered and not forced. 1 John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He sent his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.”  The ultimate gift was offered.  God gave us the option to accept or reject it. God’s love says that you don’t have to “fix” anyone.  To know God’s love is to live in the security that God unconditionally thinks that you are wonderful!